This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you click and/or make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. Gifted products will be noted as such.
If you are recently engaged and starting on the journey of wedding planning, you might be in for a rude awakening when you start searching for your dream wedding venue. When Cam and I got engaged in August (and immediately got grilled on when it would be), we pretty instantly knew that we wanted a date in September or early October of next year. And we pretty instantly found out that so did every other engaged couple in the Philadelphia area.
People always used to ask me where I wanted to get married and I never had a specific wedding venue in mind. I would’ve probably told you that I wanted to get married in a clear-top tent with string lights and plants everywhere. I follow a lot of event planners and wedding designers in the Philly area, so most of the places that I might’ve considered a few years ago, are so ‘done’ to me since I’ve seen them designed and re-designed a million times.
So when we decided to start poking around to find a wedding venue, I compiled a list of about 10 places that I would consider and we started the slightly discouraging task of venue tours. If you are looking ahead to plan your own wedding, here are a few lessons we learned in the process to prepare you for the future!
1. Take the Tour!
You can look at as many blogs, Instagram accounts, and Pinterest boards as you want, but you need to physically get in the space to understand it. Pictures, filters, decor, lighting, angles can be very deceiving. It is also very helpful to see un-photographed facilities such as restrooms and walking distances between ceremony and reception. The venue coordinator or caterer will walk you through the days events, where people will sit and which directions you can orient your ceremony, etc.
We visited one venue where the ceremony seating layout forced the bride to weave through stone walls and down stairs to get to the altar. I prefer a grand and straight entrance with no weaving or stair climbing lol. It was really helpful to see it all in person, ask questions, and get the feel of the day.
2. Decide Your ‘Must-Haves’ & Your ‘Compromises’ Beforehand
If you are set on getting married on April 25 (the perfect date… all you need is a light jacket) at the Plaza Hotel, you might need to compromise on the length of your engagement. If you just can’t wait another year and you love a specific venue, you might need to choose a Friday or a Sunday. Cam and I knew we wanted to get married on a Saturday, in the late summer, early fall of 2020. Since we had no ties to a particular venue off the bat, we knew we could hold to those ‘must-haves’ until everything lined up.
The difficulty that we immediately were faced with was that all the venues on my list were booked through September and October on every Saturday. We would’ve had to wait until 2021 to get that mid-September Saturday and we were not willing to compromise on the year. So! A beautiful Saturday in August of 2020 it is (AHHH!!!!!)!
3. Include All Decision Makers
Cam and I are blessed to have very involved and supportive parents on both sides. Since Cam’s parents are not local, it was important to us to have my parents with us for all wedding venue visits. We persevered through a 2 week whirlwind of venue tours until we came to a consensus. We toured all together, asked our questions, and on the car ride home, everyone had the chance to give their opinion and rank the venue.
Having all the decision makers together started off planning with such a unified feeling. No one had to be caught up or convinced that one place was the best. We pretty much always came away with the same opinion on the venue and when we finally found the one, we all gave it 100% unanimously. It was a peaceful and joyful decision and all four of us felt like we could envision a beautiful day… at this unnamed location 🙂
4. Don’t Be Pressured by Other’s Deadlines
Venue coordinators and caterers are sales people. Even though it is your beautiful dreamy wedding day, they want to close the sale on the venue. We visited one location (that had one Saturday left) and were given a 2 day hold on the date to make our decision. Two days! We all felt panicked; I cried (no surprise there) and within one day she had emailed me to tell me that another couple was looking at our date. Pressure!
Although she was doing her job very well, it made it difficult to think through the pros and cons to make a thoughtful decision. To this day, I think that particular Saturday is still available (we didn’t pick it). Take your time. Make your decision. If that venue is the one where God has ordained for you to be united with your love, it will remain available for you.
5. The Price is Not Firm
Unfortunately we thought of this lesson a bit after venue hunting and once I started to contact other vendors… You are allowed to have a budget and ask them to meet your price. Maybe it will be a compromise between the two numbers, but you have to ask to receive! So far, everyone that I have asked has been able to work with me to secure the working relationship. Ask and it shall be given to you.
I originally forgot about this until after we booked the venue, but I have been able to arrange some catering perks since then, which I am really excited for 🙂
If you are on the hunt for wedding venues in Pennsylvania, here are some of the beautiful spaces we researched, toured, and considered: Historic Shady Lane, Welkinweir Estate, The Curtis Hall Arboretum, Bartram’s Gardens, Appleford Estate, Excelsior, Anthony Wayne House, Inn at Barley Sheaf, Glen Foerd on the Delaware, Cairnwood Estate, Awbury Arboretum, Stoltzfus Homestead, Drumore Estate, Greenville Country Club.
I have told friends and a few people who have asked where we will be married and I think, for now, I’m going to keep it a ‘secret’ for a little while longer 🙂 But it’s gorgeous and Cam and I are so excited for that special day.
Ok everyone go pray that it doesn’t rain for us. If you missed the proposal story, you can read it here.
Next on the list: An engagement party & band showcase this weekend; dress shopping & engagement photos next weekend; lots of emails with florists and videographers…. and so many pins about honeymoon destinations!!!
xoxo
jojo
