Help! I Hate Networking, But It’s Essential to My Job

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I was an eager and bright college senior, just setting out on my journey to find my first big girl job post graduation. I was doing all the right things; attending seminars at my college, sprucing up my resume at the career center, and reaching out to every professional contact I had. It was a Saturday and I had spent the entire morning working on my 5-minute elevator pitch with some volunteer alumni at a professional development event. We were practicing for a mock-networking session coming up in the afternoon, where we were encouraged to make connections with the prominent alumni in attendance. I was pretty confident that my outgoing personality, list of sparkling accomplishments, and big smile was going to serve me well.

About 3 sentences into my pitch, the marketing agency professional that had shown interest in my experience earlier in the day, interrupted me and said, “yea, your pitch didn’t capture my attention…next!” And promptly turned his back on me and struck up a conversation with someone else.

*JAWS DROP*

Networking Horrors

Needless to say, my young, sprightly, eager-to-network soul was crushed that day, as I looked to join the field of marketing where networking is kind of an essential skill. I told that story in my first yearly review with my two bosses after they encouraged me to start attending more events in Philadelphia. I was petrified.

I reluctantly began to sign up for events and my palms would sweat all day leading up to them. At first I clung to people I knew. I’d stand silently next to my boss, smiling at people while he carried conversations. I would circle the room and act busy…probably eating and drinking. And then they sent me to the mother of all networking events….a 3 day conference on a topic I knew nothing about…aviation engineering. And that is where I acquired my first 2 tricks that finally got me talking and somehow meeting the people that I needed to meet.

This will not solve all your problems, I assure you. You will still need to “do some time” to get comfy in this environment. But at least you can start here the next time you are thrown into the shark pit of networking:

1. Pay A Compliment

There were about ten women at the aviation conference. And there was one old woman in a kind of ugly bright pink suit, but gosh darn it, I went straight up to her and loudly proclaimed, I love your suit…somebody’s gotta have some fun around here! And we became the best of friends….Not really but we did sit next to each other during an educational session, chatted for a while, exchanged cards, and waved at each other the rest of the conference. Not sure if this works out with men, but this is the world’s easiest ice breaker. Someone gives you a compliment? I’m pretty sure you immediately want to hug them…in a professional way.

2. Just Say “Hi, My Name Is…”

I had pretty much self-talked my way out of speaking to anyone by coming up with all the awkward scenarios that could possibly happen. So I just decided to kick it off with some awkwardness instead. Hi, my name’s Jo. Killer intro line. Slow it down. Give them time to respond. Think of your next question. Also breathe. Throw in a smile. With any luck, they’ll be more outgoing than you or be intimidated by your boldness and confuse you for a professional networker.

3. Everyone Likes to Talk About…

…themselves. Prepare a list of questions in your head so that you can keep them talking. Where do you work? How long have you been with the company? What do you enjoy most about your position? How did you get where you are today? Are you from the area? What is your main project at work right now? How do you think our companies could collaborate in the future? What do you like to do outside of work hours?…oh should I stop? Cause I could keep going.

4. Bring a Buddy

The important part of this tip is to not just talk to the buddy all night. Use them as a wing man. You’ll be able to bounce commonalities off of each other, talk in more depth about projects at your shared company, and fill the space with more conversation. Get comfortable at the beginning of the event together, decide who you are going to talk to, and then execute the plan.

5. Set a Plan & A Time Limit

Sometimes the most daunting thing about a networking event is how long it lasts. 3 hours? No thanks. Set a limit for yourself instead. You really don’t need to be standing around, clocking in hours, just for the heck of it. If the event releases a guest list prior to, study up on who you might want to meet and connect with and then gracefully bow out when your hour is up. Give yourself some grace. And a large cookie as a reward for an hour well spent. Something to look forward to 😉

Grab one of these tips and hold on for dear life as you navigate your way through the next event. Give it time and you’ll be rubbing elbows with the best of them. And wherever you are, man-who-temporarily-squashed-my-self-esteem, you suck.

xoxo,

jojo

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